24 Harsh Truths That Forced Person to Grow (No One Talks About #4)
- Neecee Lexy
- Apr 12
- 10 min read
For my 6-year anniversary since leaving my last job to chase my dreams, I learned 24 things that forced me to reach my full potential academically, personally, and in terms of job security. The older you get, the wiser you become. For most people, the growth pathway looks very different. Here are my 24 reasons that forced growth on me, both the good and the bad. This blog post is rather unusual, but it will help explain the reasons why I do what I do on this blog, plus how I fell in love with digital marketing and teaching others.
1. Passion
As a young child, most of the things I did seemed to be stuff that I was told to follow. That, in a sense, looked like it was my decision. The older I got, I started to realize the things that bring joy to me. For a long time, I tried to put it on the back burner because family or society made it seem impossible. However, my vibe and energy couldn’t accept it. Through my lowest moments in life, my passion gave me hope to look forward to brighter days. Unfortunately, many won’t have the encouragement to find that passion. So if you have it, hold on to it like your life depends on it.
2. Heartbreak
They say heartbreak either makes you or breaks you completely. For 29 years of my life, I have experienced heartbreak twice. The first time my heart was broken, I couldn’t get over the fact that it happened. I shut off completely and couldn’t bear the pain of being betrayed by someone whom I placed high importance on. I spent a few years in the void, subconsciously plotting for the greatest karma of all time. I carried that burden into my next relationship and found it hard to open up to people. As a result, I was mostly blinded by my second heartbreak. This second one was by far the biggest heartache of all. In the midst of all that, I learned to forgive and move on after noticing that I was becoming the person who hurt me. I immediately learned a valuable life lesson of forgiving those who broke my heart, no matter what. It was for my own personal peace and had nothing to do with them.
3. MOVE ON
Not everything in life is going to work out the way we expect it to. I have learned to be okay when things don’t work out and to move on. That strengthens growth; trust me, once you start hitting your late 20s, you will understand very well.
4. BEING BROKE
For those who told you money is evil, tell them to think again. When you have to choose between buying food or saving it for your two-hour bus commute to university, when you know the rent, phone, and school fees need to be paid, social life is out of the question. You pray that you do not get sick or break a bone because medication and chiropractor appointments cost a lot when your part-time job has no insurance. Adulthood is real, and being broke is rough in your 20s. Some experience this as early as their teenage years. That's by far a great reason to grow up faster than your age mates.
5. DREAM BIG
When your dream is bigger than your circumstances, it will force you to change in order to match the person you want to become in life. You will begin to understand why some changes are necessary for growth. You will no longer tolerate or compromise your values to please people.
6. Outgrowing your peers
Have you reconnected with some of your high school mates and the conversation is all about the good old days? Plus, some of them are still living their old ways and never grew up. You come home and reflect on how many old problems don’t matter because you have other current issues that do. It is okay to outgrow your peers; your journey in life is different. When you realize that you have bigger visions and issues, you are not the same Joe Smith that you were last week, last month, or two years ago.
There is no shame in not relating to that old lifestyle. In fact, I encourage you to notice your growth. Your 20s are no-bullshit years.
7. University & College
My higher education experience taught me the power of knowledge. It's one experience I wouldn't trade for the world. All the 4-5 hour bus rides traveling out of town daily to get to class, the 8 am lectures, the friends, and hitting rock bottom. Going through all of that and graduating with an honours degree, an A grade, and bringing two business ideas.
8. Priority
When you finally reach an age where you start to put your priorities first, that's when you can see growth begin to occur in your life. Everything you do from then on has to be done with purpose. Your time becomes extremely important and valuable.
9. Influence
They say your circle matters. The sum of the five people you are always around has a big influence on your life. That's why it is very important to have a circle that nurtures you to better yourself. Surround yourself with people who have goals, ambitions, and a drive for success in life. Their energy and aspirations in life will influence and motivate you to do the same. The older I get, the more I want to be surrounded by like-minded individuals who are passionate about entrepreneurship, growth, business, and bettering their lives.
10. Debt (Student Loans)
Being broke and owing debt is North Americans' biggest struggle that no one seems to avoid. All I wanted was to get an education so that I could get out of the projects to live a better life. My parents let me know from a very young age that getting a higher education was my ticket out of poverty if I strived to read, learn, and get into university because college was not an option. In the African community, there's significant stigma around attending college versus university. As a smart student, I ensured my grades were high enough for university, aware that my parents couldn't fund my education. OSAP offered me the chance to study now and pay later. However, five years post-graduation, I find myself with nearly $48k+ in student loan debt, while my prestigious degrees gather dust on the wall.
I decided to go back to college to see what the stigma is all about. I learned I could've saved thousands of dollars by going there first until I was sure university was for me. In the end, it did not matter where I got my knowledge from because I was wise enough to understand knowledge is power, but one costs more and leads you into long-term financial constraint.
11. Smell the BS from far
The older you get, the more you start to notice BS from miles away. You are going to focus on protecting your energy and growth. Anyone that's coming with BS in your life is an automatic decline. If that BS is coming on social media, you hit that block button really quick like you are on "Family Feud" with Mr. Steve H.
12. Self-confidence
We have all experienced some sort of low self-esteem at least once in our lifetime. Whether it's questioning if you are not good enough, smart enough, too tall, too thin, too fat, too pretty, too ugly, too soft whatever the case might be. Once you learn to accept yourself and develop self-confidence, your whole life changes completely. Every room you enter, your presence is felt strongly, and you own your space unapologetically.
13. Travel
Traveling allows you to explore the world. You learn about different cultures and explore new horizons. The world is big, and I highly recommend that you travel to a different city or country if you can to expand your knowledge and wisdom. Just seeing how people from around the world live, you will start to appreciate a lot of things in life.
14. Hustler mindset
No one hustles harder than a person refusing to get help. It might be an African thing. Have you ever met someone who grinds harder like there's no tomorrow, yet they make it seem effortless? Yes, that's a hustler mindset, knowing that regardless of the circumstances—doors of opportunities closing on them, no food to eat—they will still wake up every day grinding so that they can have a brighter future. For me, that person has always been my mother. She is a resilient, ambitious, goal-driven, focused woman. She is so determined and focused through school, college, and work. My whole life, she has been a big inspiration to me. Watching her, I learned that if I want anything in life, I have to work hard for it, never envy those who have it because everyone's story is different. Be patient with my own winning time, but until then, I've got to put in the hours, share my skills, and stay prayerful.
15, Job
You will learn to leave jobs with toxic cultures and underpaid positions when you know your skills are worth more. We live in an era where opportunities come in so many shapes and forms. If a company won't hire you, you can take those skills to create a personal brand online and earn a living being your own boss. Do not feel as if you are not hireable because someone has not noticed your qualifications. Honey, there are many opportunities out there if you can maximize your skills, passion, and curiosity.
16. Rejections
I once saw a meme quote that said, "Rejection is a redirection." For the people at the back, rejection is a redirection. Do not dare feel bad or beat yourself up because a company rejected your application, a boy rejected your love, or friends rejected your company to hang out with them.
In high school, Zellers sent me home after 3 successful interviews, telling me they could not hire me. They made a decision to go with another candidate who had experience in retail. Seven years later, Zellers filed for bankruptcy and closed all stores nationwide. I was on my pathway to university and working at the biggest flagship brand store. The people who did not hire me are now seeking employment with qualified candidates. I am not saying this to brag, but to tell you that sometimes rejection is a long-term blessing in which God is working in your favor.
Guess what, that's God's clue to redirect your life purpose so that you can end up at a company that will notice your skills, a man or woman that would love you unconditionally, and friends that will appreciate your harmony and presence.
17.Love
Love is beautiful! Love can turn many ugly things into a rare beauty. Love can make you stupid sometimes, but other times it makes you create wise decisions because important people are involved. Love mixed with passion will make you an unstoppable being.
18. Finding God
This is a spiritual journey everyone must define for themselves. The older you get, the more you need to have peace of mind and bliss. Finding God, regardless of which religion you practice, is very important for your mental health and morals.
19. Marriage
From the image above you suggested, marriage is another thing that forces one to grow. You are taking big steps and experiencing life to form a union with an individual until death do you part. I'm not going to lie, I love the idea of marriage and hope to reach that stage one day. As of now, thinking about it can be stressful. I have friends who got married in their late teens or early 20s and are now divorced. That's unfortunate, which also kind of makes me want to wait to ensure the person I end up marrying is the right person. I am not interested in getting married just because everyone else is throwing a big celebration party to impress their parents or peers.
Marriage is beautiful; I aspire to get married one day. Until then, I've grown up to know it is best to wait for the right one.
20. kids
For the first time in your life, you are thinking and providing for more than just yourself. Your kid or kids become your number one source of motivation to do better in life. If you dropped out of school, normally you start thinking of going back to complete your education to have a better future for your kids. The biggest responsibility of all is taking care of your child.
21. Death
This is by far the hardest to talk about. One of the most difficult things to deal with is knowing you won't get to see a person again. Death can force you to grow closer to people or apart. This year, one of my event promoter colleagues passed away very young. For the whole week, I was bothered by the news; I did not know how to take it in. I started to realize amid all the quarantine and losing someone at a young age. Life does not wait for us; we have to appreciate every moment of it and live our best life. I was forced to challenge the wisdom to start acting on my ideas so that when my time comes, I will be happy I've done enough to aspire and inspire people. I want to live a life with purpose. To be a person worth knowing, not well-known, to educate and empower others to live a life beyond any obstacles life might bring to us.
22.Standards
Once you start to value your self-worth and understand that you are not going to compromise your standards to make someone else happy, it will force you to grow both personally and logically. When you start tapping into your higher self, it's going to cost you friends, relationships, and jobs to be authentically you. Never feel bad because you have grown to love your self-worth and raised your standards high to achieve success in life.
23. Healing from your childhood trauma
This is peace! The biggest reward in life is truly healing from your childhood trauma, allowing yourself not to be a prisoner of your past life. As an adult, we walk around with a defense mechanism because that little girl or boy is still hurt from previous experiences. You might be grown, but still, the inner you has felt so deeply that it requires you to go deeper to find that peace and let things go.
24.Self-esteem
You can have confidence, but if you don't have strong self-esteem, it will not thrive in this world. A lot of people are faking it until they make it. You can fake confidence and put on a facade, but self-esteem runs deeper.
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